Greetings Ask Carolyn readers, as we prepare for Domestic Violence Awareness next month, I write to express concern for violence against women and children remaining in Afghanistan. I have researched the topic, and I share my references at the end of this blog. So many of the themes of domestic violence are recurrent: poverty, education, and the effect of prolonged conflict on children. Continue reading
Dear Readers, today we have another Lolita story, and unfortunately, this kind of story is more common than you might think. The second question concerns an aging parent, who is perhaps incompetent.
I am in a book club with a group of women. One of the women in the book club has a 13-year-old daughter, and she asked me to write to you about this situation with her daughter. The daughter and mother do not live in Guilford County. The 13-year-old daughter has an uncle, the brother of the father of the 13-year-old. Unbeknownst to the mother, this uncle was apparently grooming the 13-year-old for a sexual relationship. There apparently were a couple of encounters of oral sex and breast fondling, as disgusting as that is.
Dear Readers, two of you submitted very exciting questions in frequently misunderstood areas in the nuances of family law. Question one deals with custody as part of a Chapter 50B domestic violence protective order. The second question deals with cohabitation when you are the recipient of alimony under an order or agreement.
My 50B expired one year ago. It included custody of my then 2-year-old. After a period of time does that custody order become permanent if not contested by her father?
Today’s Ask Carolyn addresses the marriage of minor children in the United States and a domestic violence situation involving parents who won’t allow their 20-year-old to move out.
I am concerned about an article I recently read concerning underage girls as young as 12 and 13 years old marrying older males in South Carolina. To me, this is sexual abuse. The article said that nearly 7,000 underage girls – some as young as 12 and 13 – have married in South Carolina in the past 20 years.
I am married for the second time. My first husband, who I divorced, was physically and verbally abusive. I got out. The problem is I am right back in a miserable, abusive relationship—although quite different. This second husband (and might I add my last husband) is quite controlling on most every aspect of my life. He controls all the money, and I am given an allowance as a child. I dated him for two years, and I did not pick up on this for some reason. What insight do you have that might help?
– Poor picker of husbands
I am a 35-year-old woman with two small children (a daughter and a son), a puppy, and a cat. I am now separated. My “ex-husband” kicks and tortures the puppy, and I do not know why. The puppy cries and then the children, who witness the violence, cry. It is a mess. The cat usually manages to get away. Then my “ex-husband” yells at the kids and hits them too. I am so glad he is gone, but I worry about this monster I was married to. I worry about how he will treat our children when I am not around, especially when he is drinking. Now he wants visitation with the puppy and the children. What can I do?
My ex-spouse is harassing me with emails and text messages. This ex is saying very mean, nasty things and calling me names. It just won’t stop. I hate to give up my cell phone number and my email address, as it would be quite complicated to change. I feel threatened. It’s like I am being followed all the time. My ex always seems to know where I am. I still have my cell phone from the marriage. Is it possible there is something planted in the phone? What can I do?
In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, today I’m posting an excerpt from Ask Carolyn 2 that addresses one survivor’s struggle with the secrecy of childhood sexual abuse and her search for closure.
I am now 32, and my sister is 35. We were both molested by our stepfather. Our mother “knew,” but for whatever reason selected to ignore this. My stepfather is now deceased, and he took his ugly secret to his grave. This stepfather has other children, all older than my sister and me. I would like closure regarding this horrific secret. I am thinking I would like to confront my mother about allowing this to happen and expose the b…….d to his other children. What do I do?
One of my most popular posts last month was about crazy divorce stories, including the incredible saga that was the Wee Man’s Chronic Tacos custody hearing. Since so many people have been enjoying them, I’ve dug around the internet and found five more crazy divorce stories to delight and appall you.
An ex-wife was too lazy to work – and not just on a career. To prove her laziness, the husband had his construction crew remove 5 to 6 truckloads of dirty laundry from the house and photographed them. He brought the photographs to the court as evidence to support his case in reducing his temporary alimony. It turns out that rather than washing any clothes, the wife had just been buying new clothes every week.
On October 5, 2017, The New York Times released an article exposing decades of sexual abuse perpetrated by Harvey Weinstein, a well-known film producer and powerful player in Hollywood. After the article’s publication, a stream of new accusations surfaced, and journalists dug deeper, discovering a network of employees and private investigators who gathered information on victims and used non-disclosure agreements to intimidate them into silence.
The world looked on, many shocked by how sinister the story became as it deepened, others appalled that someone could get away with abuse for so long. But for survivors, each development just proves long-held truths about sexual violence.