Divorce is mostly negative energy. Why not have a Sage Smudging Divorce Party for you and your besties to get rid of the negative energy? So, you kept the marital residence: I did that, and I found the constant reminder of my ex dragging my sensuality to my retained home a drag. One of my closest friends was familiar with Sage Smudging suggested this sage ritual. And, it worked: we took a wrapped “stick” of sage, a feather, and moved throughout the corners of the retained marital residence ridding the house of its ghosts and bad vibes. You can do this with a group of friends and a special cocktail. Continue reading
I read an article about a man who took marijuana to the courtroom in Greensboro. My ex-spouse smokes marijuana, and we are getting ready for a custody trial over our three-year-old. After my ex moved out, I found some drug paraphernalia the ex left behind in my home. I found a ceramic pipe, and I know what my ex used this for. I have never used drugs, and this is one of the reasons we broke up. I want to use this as evidence in my custody trial, but now I am afraid to take the evidence to court to show the judge. What should I do? The judge needs to see the evidence I have. I do not have an attorney, at least not yet. I don’t want to end up like Mr. Hussain, in jail.
Today’s second Ask Carolyn addresses separation as a potential tipping point for suicide and discusses the recent suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, both of whom were separated from their spouses.
Our first reader today finds herself in a very difficult situation: her husband is abusing opioids and alcohol, and their children are aware. She knows divorce is the only option if her husband won’t get clean, but is worried, as he supports their family. Our second reader has been separated for some time, and wants to know how divorce will affect the business he and his brothers inherited from their father.
My spouse is using both prescription opioids (Percocet) and alcohol. I do not think he has a prescription for the Percocet, and there are lots of cash withdrawals from our bank account. I am suspicious he is buying on the street, but where? And how? He had back surgery three years ago and I know he was using Percocet about six months. I don’t think his doctor is giving him Percocet anymore, as the health insurance is mine, and I don’t see it coming through.
I have an example of corruption that exists in the family court system in North Carolina. My ex-wife is requesting increased child support. When I requested all of her financial documents, she provided fraudulent tax returns to the courts in order to gain increased child support payments from me. When I advised the judge of the fraudulent tax returns and proof that I had as far as lease for rental property that she claimed zero income for two out of three years, the judge’s comment was she is not the IRS; therefore allowing felony fraud to be committed in her courtroom and participating in a conspiracy to commit felony fraud.
Dear Exposing Corruption,
I live in Raleigh, NC and was divorced in 2009. Our separation agreement (signed and notarized) states that each parent is to pay one-half of all college expenses. My son is now 18 and daughter 16. My ex is now balking at paying one-fifth of the college expenses for my son. What remedy do I have?
I am divorcing, and I have three children. I want joint custody. I expect to have half the time, and I think the mother will agree. While I know we need to have the schedule of when the children will be with each parent, I am looking for a checklist of considerations other than the schedule itself. What should my concerns be?
– Father of Three
My ex-spouse is harassing me with emails and text messages. This ex is saying very mean, nasty things and calling me names. It just won’t stop. I hate to give up my cell phone number and my email address, as it would be quite complicated to change. I feel threatened. It’s like I am being followed all the time. My ex always seems to know where I am. I still have my cell phone from the marriage. Is it possible there is something planted in the phone? What can I do?
Hello. Can you help me? I am a 51-year-old woman who got into a wedded relationship (though celibate and platonic) with this 73-year-old man who needed my financial help with his social security. It turns out he never divorced his previous wife nor did she divorce him. Mine with him, I’ve been told, is invalid and does not count, especially since we did not consummate it on the wedding night for I had my period and he was sick and we still haven’t since. It’s not like that anyway. Trouble is I am currently unemployed and need work which means I need proper and correct ID (picture, as well as the correct social security card) in order to apply for work.
I don’t have income to pay a lawyer to stamp our certificate and license invalid or whatever they do to help free the invalid spouse from the one still married to the previous one. How can I get our documents stamped invalid by the courts (the law, lawyers, Judges – whoever) so I will have proof to switch back to my original birth name to get my ID and social security correct in order to fill out applications without income to pay a lawyer?
Today’s Ask Carolyn addresses two questions about money and real estate. Our first reader asks if his daughter’s rent can be awarded to her as part of her alimony, as she is financially unable to move back out after divorce. Our second reader wants to know if he’s required to hire a real estate appraiser even though he already knows the value of his home.
My daughter is living with me after separating. I’m not charging her rent, but she wants her own apartment. Her ex is saying he does not have to pay for her apartment because she is living with me rent free. This is sort of a “chicken and an egg” situation. She cannot get the apartment without help from him, so she does not currently have the expense. She has been asked to fill out a statement of income and expenses. Her only income is disability from Social Security. So what gives? Does she have to live permanently with me, or can the court award her alimony to get her own place to live? I love my daughter, but she is 40, and it seems unfair that she would have to live with me forever for free just because her ex is ridiculous.