Articles Tagged with domestic violence

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Venn Crawford

Tuesday’s blog touched on the difficulty that some survivors of domestic violence have when they try to reconcile the good memories of their relationship with their abuse. In trying to reconcile the good with the bad, victims may start to rationalize the abusive behavior and second-guess themselves.

This tendency of the victim to downplay their abuse (especially while still in the relationship) is reinforced by the abuser’s talent for hiding their behavior. Abuse occurs in a cyclical pattern called the cycle of abuse, and abusers tend to perpetrate abuse only during half of this cycle. During the other half, they attempt to “atone” for their behavior, creating a sort of push-and-pull dynamic where they abuse their partner, then keep them from leaving by promising to change. This dynamic often serves to make the victim even more dependent on their abuser, and the inconstancy of the abuse makes it harder for both the victims and others to identify it.
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Venn Crawford

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and #maybehedoesnthityou has resurfaced on twitter as victims and activists use the hashtag to speak out about non-physical forms of domestic violence.

While physical violence is what most people think of when they hear “domestic violence,” emotional abuse often occurs alongside or before physical violence, and can be just as damaging. However, because this form of abuse doesn’t leave physical marks, it can often be harder to recognize for both the victim and those who know them.

Most abusers are seeking to control their victim – emotional abuse undermines the self-worth of the victim until they believe they are totally dependent upon their abuser. The abusive partner may use a variety of tactics, such as minimizing the victim, isolating them by cutting them off from their support network, humiliating them, or gaslighting them. Gaslighting is a particularly insidious tactic, as it seeks to make the victim question their memory. This is frequently done by denying any abuse ever occurred, and makes it that much harder for the victim to seek help.
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Carolyn Woodruff

Dear Carolyn,

I was recently at the US Post Office on Murrow Boulevard. I was in line. There was a couple in line in front of me, and the man was hitting and pushing the woman and then laughing about it. She was obviously hurt and humiliated, but seemed unable to do anything about it. The woman had on a “hijab,” a Muslim head wrap. I didn’t do anything at the time, but I left thinking that maybe I should have done something?

– Concerned

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Carolyn Woodruff

Dear Carolyn,

I have a strange question for you Carolyn. In fact, it is almost unbelievable. My ex-wife and the mother of my precious child constantly fabricates that the child is ill. The child is constantly taken to the doctor with the Mother saying that the child had a fever “last night.” The doctor cannot find a fever. Once the Mother said the child had blood in her urine, and the child had to undergo all these tests and nothing was found. The Mother tried to have the tonsils taken out indicating medical problems that did not exist. The list could go on for the whole page, but I’ll spare further details. The Mother is a nurse, and I don’t understand why she is getting all the medical items regarding my child wrong all the time. I was in a divorce therapy class and someone piped up when I mentioned this: “does she have Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy?” This Mother thrives on the attention she (the Mother) gets when our child is sick.

Signed: Crazy, isn’t it?

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Kam Hardy

Today, April 26th is Denim Day. This is the day to show your support for Peace Over Violence and protest against the negative attitudes toward rape.

In honor of sexual violence month this Denim Day Campaign runs to promote awareness. This campaign started when the Italian Parliament overturned a rape conviction. Their reasoning was since the victim was wearing “tight” jeans, she must have helped her rapist get the jeans off which they are saying implies consent. Later that day after the ruling, a women came into Parliament wearing jeans to show her support and stand with the victim.

Since then, Peace Over Violence has started this campaign and to protest. There is no excuse and there is NEVER an invitation to rape. Rape is not a joke and wearing your jeans today shows your support.