Articles Tagged with children

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Carolyn Woodruff

Our first reader today finds herself in a very difficult situation: her husband is abusing opioids and alcohol, and their children are aware. She knows divorce is the only option if her husband won’t get clean, but is worried, as he supports their family. Our second reader has been separated for some time, and wants to know how divorce will affect the business he and his brothers inherited from their father.

Dear Carolyn,

My spouse is using both prescription opioids (Percocet) and alcohol. I do not think he has a prescription for the Percocet, and there are lots of cash withdrawals from our bank account. I am suspicious he is buying on the street, but where? And how? He had back surgery three years ago and I know he was using Percocet about six months. I don’t think his doctor is giving him Percocet anymore, as the health insurance is mine, and I don’t see it coming through.

Published on:

Carolyn Woodruff

Today’s Ask Carolyn answers two questions about summer vacation. Our first reader wants to know what the ground rules should be for a multi-generational beach trip. Our second reader is taking the family cat for a sail.

Dear Carolyn,

I just turned in the dates for my summer vacation weeks with my sons (ages 6 and 9) to my ex. In even years I pick first by May 1. I get three total summer weeks split as two weeks and one week. Week isn’t defined, but that is another story for another day and a source of arguments. I picked Saturday to Saturday because of my beach rental for the one-week session. My two boys and I are camping in the Rockies the two-week time. Now for my questions regarding the one-week time, which I would like to do with my parents, the paternal grandparents of my children:

Published on:

Carolyn Woodruff

Dear Carolyn,

I am a 35-year-old woman with two small children (a daughter and a son), a puppy, and a cat. I am now separated. My “ex-husband” kicks and tortures the puppy, and I do not know why. The puppy cries and then the children, who witness the violence, cry.  It is a mess. The cat usually manages to get away.  Then my “ex-husband” yells at the kids and hits them too. I am so glad he is gone, but I worry about this monster I was married to. I worry about how he will treat our children when I am not around, especially when he is drinking.  Now he wants visitation with the puppy and the children. What can I do?

– Tortured

Published on:

Carolyn Woodruff

Today’s Ask Carolyn includes the questions about broken separation agreements that I answered Tuesday, as well as an additional question about grandparent visitation.

Dear Carolyn,

My grandson is 7, and a tragedy has occurred. His mother (my daughter) died in a car accident. My grandson lived with me for the first year of his life while his father and my daughter were stationed active military in another country.  I kept a consistent relationship with my grandson until recently. His father has remarried and moved. The stepmother has just concluded an adoption. The father and new stepmom are not allowing me to visit. Can I get visitation? I have called, sent gifts and I have tried everything I know. What can I do?

Published on:

Carolyn Woodruff
Dear Carolyn,

I live in Raleigh, NC and was divorced in 2009. Our separation agreement (signed and notarized) states that each parent is to pay one-half of all college expenses. My son is now 18 and daughter 16. My ex is now balking at paying one-fifth of the college expenses for my son. What remedy do I have?

Carolyn Answers…
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Carolyn Woodruff
Dear Carolyn, 

I am divorcing, and I have three children. I want joint custody. I expect to have half the time, and I think the mother will agree. While I know we need to have the schedule of when the children will be with each parent, I am looking for a checklist of considerations other than the schedule itself. What should my concerns be?

– Father of Three

Published on:

Carolyn Woodruff

This week’s Ask Carolyn is all about lies and deceit. Our first reader is writing in about her cheating husband, and wants to know if a lie detector test will help her get justice and closure. Our second reader thought her daughter was at a Grasshoppers game with her father, only to find out that they’d lied and were miles away at the beach!

Dear Carolyn,

I want my husband to take a lie detector test. He’s cheating, and I know it. Will the lie detector test tell me what’s going on in his head, not to mention elsewhere? I need some peace of mind. Could I use the lie detector to get him kicked out of my home if he is cheating? What a louse to make me worry and fret like this. I’d like to know exactly what is in his brain.

Published on:

Carolyn Woodruff

Dear Carolyn,

Hi, how are you? I have a question, my wife and I wanted to spend time with my stepson this summer but the father won’t let her get him. Can he stop her visitation?

Carolyn Answers….

Published on:

Carolyn Woodruff

Dear Carolyn,

I have a strange question for you Carolyn. In fact, it is almost unbelievable. My ex-wife and the mother of my precious child constantly fabricates that the child is ill. The child is constantly taken to the doctor with the Mother saying that the child had a fever “last night.” The doctor cannot find a fever. Once the Mother said the child had blood in her urine, and the child had to undergo all these tests and nothing was found. The Mother tried to have the tonsils taken out indicating medical problems that did not exist. The list could go on for the whole page, but I’ll spare further details. The Mother is a nurse, and I don’t understand why she is getting all the medical items regarding my child wrong all the time. I was in a divorce therapy class and someone piped up when I mentioned this: “does she have Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy?” This Mother thrives on the attention she (the Mother) gets when our child is sick.

Signed: Crazy, isn’t it?

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