Articles Posted in Advice

Divorce and legal advice from Carolyn Woodruff, the dancing divorce attorney. Questions and answers published Thursdays in The Rhino Times.

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Carolyn Woodruff
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In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, today I’m posting an excerpt from Ask Carolyn 2 that addresses one survivor’s struggle with the secrecy of childhood sexual abuse and her search for closure.

Dear Carolyn,

I am now 32, and my sister is 35. We were both molested by our stepfather. Our mother “knew,” but for whatever reason selected to ignore this. My stepfather is now deceased, and he took his ugly secret to his grave.  This stepfather has other children, all older than my sister and me. I would like closure regarding this horrific secret. I am thinking I would like to confront my mother about allowing this to happen and expose the b…….d to his other children. What do I do?

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Carolyn Woodruff
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Dear Carolyn,

I am sixty-nine.  I have been in a fifty-year marriage.  I sure would like to be out of the marriage, but I fear I am too old.  I would like my retirement to be stress-free and with someone else. Do people my age really divorce?

– Old, but Fiesty

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Carolyn Woodruff
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Dear Carolyn,

I am a new Father, and I think the mother of our new baby is depressed. I am concerned. She seems exhausted and stressed. I am helping and her mother is helping, but there seems to be a problem.  What should I do?

– Stressed with New Baby

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Carolyn Woodruff
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Today’s Ask Carolyn addresses Borderline Personality Disorder and how it can affect the divorce process. Borderline Personality is a Cluster B personality disorder characterized by unstable behavior, moods, and relationships. BPD is challenging to deal with in relationships, and can become even more difficult during divorce.

Dear Carolyn,

My custody file is at least a foot thick at the courthouse.  I thought this would be the year that we were done with custody, but custody is an ongoing saga.  My children are 8 and 10 year old boys. Every time I think we are finished, my ex (the mother) files a new motion. She has fired every counselor and psychologist that she has had. She is always right about everything, in her opinion.  She is intensely angry. She has even been married again and divorced again in the five years that this custody battle has been going on.  The court gave me fifty percent of the time with my sons at the initial hearing and this has been confirmed by the court at every subsequent hearing.  She just filed another motion for primary custody this week. What do I do?

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Carolyn Woodruff
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Dear Carolyn,

I am an aunt with two adult nephews and one adult niece.  I have no children of my own.  I have been very faithful, I feel, to lavishing these ingrates with gifts and attention on holidays, at weddings, birthdays, baby showers and generally.  There is never a thank-you note from them, much less a gift (not even a small one).  They virtually ignore me unless they are getting something from me.  I am very careful to thank them for every little thing they do for me, but when I thank them, I get the rude comment of “no problem.”  Where did the manners go for “thank you” and “you’re welcome?”  Thanksgiving and Christmas are particularly hard when they are most of my “blood” family.  I am considering simply washing my hands of these unappreciative relatives as I feel that would make me feel the best.  Any advice?

– Tired of the Unthankful

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Carolyn Woodruff
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Dear Carolyn,

I think I am about to be sued for alienation of affection. While I am not really sure exactly what this is, I am sure that I am not really doing this. Yes, I do have a paramour who is married. However, it is very clear to her and to me that the relationship with her husband was over when we started our affair. How can I possibly be sued when she had no marriage to speak of? I also heard a rumor that maybe alienation of affection is against the United States Constitution. Is there any movement for alienation of affection to be declared unconstitutional? Any help you can give me would ease my pain and my nervousness.

Carolyn Answers:
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Carolyn Woodruff
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Dear Carolyn,

I was recently at the US Post Office on Murrow Boulevard. I was in line. There was a couple in line in front of me, and the man was hitting and pushing the woman and then laughing about it. She was obviously hurt and humiliated, but seemed unable to do anything about it. The woman had on a “hijab,” a Muslim head wrap. I didn’t do anything at the time, but I left thinking that maybe I should have done something?

– Concerned

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Carolyn Woodruff
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Dear Carolyn,

Hi, how are you? I have a question, my wife and I wanted to spend time with my stepson this summer but the father won’t let her get him. Can he stop her visitation?

Carolyn Answers….

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Carolyn Woodruff
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Dear Carolyn,

I have a strange question for you Carolyn. In fact, it is almost unbelievable. My ex-wife and the mother of my precious child constantly fabricates that the child is ill. The child is constantly taken to the doctor with the Mother saying that the child had a fever “last night.” The doctor cannot find a fever. Once the Mother said the child had blood in her urine, and the child had to undergo all these tests and nothing was found. The Mother tried to have the tonsils taken out indicating medical problems that did not exist. The list could go on for the whole page, but I’ll spare further details. The Mother is a nurse, and I don’t understand why she is getting all the medical items regarding my child wrong all the time. I was in a divorce therapy class and someone piped up when I mentioned this: “does she have Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy?” This Mother thrives on the attention she (the Mother) gets when our child is sick.

Signed: Crazy, isn’t it?

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